


HEADCANONS/ONE SHOTS - THE LAST OF US/TLOU2

by womanwhowritesformany



Category: The Last of Us, The Last of Us 2 - Fandom
Genre: Action, Angst, Apocalypse, Camping, Character Death(s), F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Jacksonville, Love, Major Spoilers, Reader-Insert, SO MUCH FLUFF, Short Stories, Slow Burn, TLOU, TLOU2, The Last of Us - Freeform, The Last of Us Spoilers, Traveling, Video Game, Violence, Zombies, age gap, headcanons, injuries, mature - Freeform, one shots, relationships, somewhat smutty, spoilers will be put at the beginning of a oneshot if there are any, the last of us 2, the last of us 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25575427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanwhowritesformany/pseuds/womanwhowritesformany
Summary: I haven't seen many fics, oneshots or headcanons for TLOU/TLOU2, so here I am fulfilling my need!Characters being written will include- Joel, Ellie, Dina, Jesse, Abby.. and eventually more.If you see in the relationships tag, you'll see that each character will be written with either an Original Character (Female or Male or Non-Binary) and or just Reader insterted. Also, maybe just some with characters, like Ellie x Dina.
Relationships: Abby (The Last of Us)/Reader, Dina (The Last of Us) & Original Character(s), Ellie (The Last of Us)/Original Character(s), Ellie/OFC, Ellie/Reader, Jesse (The Last of Us) & Original Character(s), Joel (The Last of Us)/Original Character(s), Joel/OFC, Joel/Reader
Kudos: 41





	1. Intro/Notes

**Author's Note:**

> This collection of TLOU/TLOU2 oneshots/headcanons will vary in ideas/themes. I will put warnings in front of the chapter at the notes to let you all know what will be in the oneshot/headcanon.

ONE SHOTS, HEADCANONS + SHORT FICS for TLOU/TLOU2  
I don't take requests, but feel free to comment some ideas or any prompts and I might take a look + shout you out for the idea! I haven't seen many fics or oneshots on Joel, Ellie, Dina etc. from TLOU/TLOU2 on AO3 or Tumblr, so I thought it would be cool to write some stuff of my own!! 

PLEASE NOTE- THERE WILL BE NO "Joel x Ellie" IN ANY inappropriate scenarios. That relationship is strictly familial and nothing further. So please, don't request anything.


	2. Being with Ellie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Headcanons) Being With Ellie would include...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The majority of the Ellie headcanons and oneshots will be 19 year old Ellie from TLOU2, unless stated otherwise!

Ellie draws and sketches...a lot. Whether it's nature or animals, she loves to practice drawing you. Even when you could be a little difficult with trying to stay still for her, she still cherishes the time she has whenever it's just the two of you. "Stay still, babe! Please, I'm just begging you to keep your head straight." Ellie would say, as she would lean back in her swiveled chair with her sketchbook open and pen tucked behind her ear. "Ellie, relax. You have all the time in the world to get it right. Besides, I'll be here for you forever." You' d tell her. She'd look at you and smile, cheeks turning red. "Just stay still." You'd roll your eyes and smile back, "I'll try my best... for you."

Besides all the drawing and being her, as you like to call it, "personal model", she would do her best to teach you to ride a horse in a big open field so you didn't have to be embarrassed just in case you didn't want anyone to see you falling off a damn horse. But also, it gave her the chance to spend alone time. Picnics in the field during sunset, riding on the same horse at sun rise; you felt special because of the things she did that showed you she cared. 

When it came down to it, the two of you would fight side by side against runners, clickers and stalkers and more. Whenever the two of you would leave Jackson, even if it was just to get away from people, for alone time of course or even for a supply run, there were always them to watch out for. Being with Ellie, no matter what or where, meant she had your back and she knew she could trust you with having hers. 

Being with Ellie would be calm most of the time. Spending almost every morning in each other's arms before getting to work. Spending almost every night staying up late to listen to music, or listening to her play the guitar, or watching her draw. Most nights would just consist of talking all night about the things you loved, the things she loved

Affection. At first, it was hard for both of you to show affection, considering you were both really good friends ever since Ellie arrived in Jackson. And because the two of you didn't have any experience with love or relationships. But after being friends for some time, you both developed feelings. And once you told her how you felt, you were beginning to worry that you had ruined things. But it wasn't until Ellie assured you by kissing you with all the love she had for you. Hugs from behind, kisses on the neck and cheek and jaw was something she loved doing to you, because she loved to watch you get all flustered and nervous. And when you felt confident enough, you would usually spin yourself around in her grip and grab her by the waist, and pull her in for a kiss that lasted forever. 

Being with Ellie was a feeling you could never quite explain. Because no words could ever amount to the feelings that she had made your heart, stomach and head feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure If i ever do headcanons right, but I'm sure there isn't a "set" or correct way in doing them! Headcanon, drabble whatever it is, haha I hope you all liked it!!


	4. Being with Joel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being with Joel could include...

Joel was a very closed off man. That was until he met you, he had opened up slowly but surely. 

There were a few sides of him that you noticed with all the times you've been with him. The first side was when you first met him; he was mostly quiet, reserved almost. You would be lying to yourself and others if you didn't think he wasn't intimidating. When you spoke to him, he gave one word answers or never a full on sentence. But it had nothing to do with you, so you never felt upset at it. The second side of him you got to see, was the protective and strong. This was because the two of you were out on patrol together and there were way too many runners around. You were strong and resilient, and sometimes a little reckless which could get you into some tough situations. And one day you happened to cause one, causing Joel to watch you back and end up saving your life. And that's when the connection sparked between you. Just a friends of course. 

The third side of him you saw was his sweet side. Whether it was him being nice to you or others, or making jokes and even flirting with you, you saw that he wasn't so stern as some would've thought. 

Being with Joel (finally and after a long time with the two of you beating around the bush about each others feelings), you got to see it all. The good, the bad sometimes the ugly. Being with him, he never wanted you to see the ugly side; the one where it included all the violence and the terrible things he had to do in order to survive. But you told him and tried to make him see that you have done the same things, you have those sides too and that he's seen it. 

Being with Joel could be easy, sometimes it could be hard. 

The easy part of it all, was the touches of affection and the connection between the two of you. The hugs from him were always warm, filled with so much love and you could never get enough. The conversations that lasted all night in bed, or on patrol. The love making at any time of a day whenever you two got the chance to be alone together was easy, it was beautiful and it was something he could never get tired of. "I could never get tired of this." He would whisper in your hair as he would caress you wherever his hand laid; on your waist, in your hair, on your thighs or butt. "I love this. I love you." He'd say. "Oh Joel," you would blush. "I love you. Never leave." and he wouldn't. 

The hard part was never knowing what could happen to him, or to you, beyond the world of Jackson. Death could come any minute and take one of you away and break hearts. Not knowing if he would come back one day would always leave you crying in throughout the night, until he would safely come back home and hold you all morning to assure you that he is safe, he is real and that he was with you. And if it was you out on patrol without him, he would never sleep. There were also times where there were arguments, but usually it would be you doing the yelling, and him staying silently angry. And the hard part of the silent treatments and the day or two that would go by, he would get sick of it, that he'd find you wherever you were, hug you tightly and would apologize. "I'm sorry, darling." his soft but low and gruff voice would make you close your eyes as he talked in your ear. "I don't like this, I don't like when we fight." 

And you would respond with, "I don't like it either Joel. Who knows how much time we have left together."

"Don't speak like that," He would get mad again, but never at you. Just at the thought of losing you or you losing him would make him sick and his heart would break. "I love you, I can't think about that."

Being with Joel meant that you were never left feeling unloved. He wasn't into PDA (public displays of affection), but when you two were alone, whether it was in his home (which you eventually and gradually moved into) he would always kiss you. Wherever. Besides kissing you on the lips being your favorite, you loved when he would grab your face with his big hands and kiss you on your forehead softly. It always gave you butterflies like if you were a teenager again. 

He was a romantic. Even if he never admitted it, even if he would always want to be seen as someone tough, the romantic side of him was always brought out because of you.

Guitar playing and his beautiful voice singing was something he loved doing. Even if he was shy to do it in front of you, and afraid to admit he was, it made him smile to see you in awe and content because of him. Whether it was outside on his porch, or inside his bedroom, you loved to hear him play. 

Being with Joel meant you would never be without coffee. The day you were getting to know each other, the moment you both found out that coffee was your favorite thing to consume, it was like he found his soulmate. And he did. Coffee would be drunk all day, or at anytime. When you couldn't sleep, he would make a fresh pot for the two of you. When it was morning and he wouldn't be in bed, he would have a cup waiting for you along with a chair next to him (or your chair would be his lap or his lap on the couch). He loves coffee so much, you were jokingly afraid he might love coffee more than you, but you noticed whenever he ran out and there was only enough for one cup, he would save the last cup for you. And you would always share, even if he only got one sip or gulp out of it. He appreiciated that about you. 

And his sweet, sweet love. Making love to you, whether it was soft or intense, he loved making you feel... loved. 

Being with Joel was what made you live, what made you survive. Because without love, there would be nothing to fight for in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't Joel's voice just so sweet and rich and just... ugh I LOVE HIM.   
> Drabble, headcanon whatever this is, I hope you all like it! xo


	5. We'll Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Ellie and Joel arrived in Jackson County years ago, Lars was another teenage girl that Ellie met. The two of them instantly clicked over their shared experience of losing family, knowing how to use a gun and bonded over the nature of Wyoming, drawing and the music they found. As Lars and Ellie grow up side by side their friendship grows stronger, and when they're old enough for patrols, it goes further than friendship... but sometimes things like this is hard to figure out, especially when you barely have experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellie x Original Female Character  
> Characters: Ellie and OFC named Lars. 
> 
> a long oneshot (that wasn't supposed to be this long) that I love a lot

When Ellie and Joel arrived in Jackson County years ago, Lars was another teenage girl that Ellie met. The two of them instantly clicked over their shared experience of losing family, knowing how to use a gun and bonded over the nature of Wyoming, drawing and the music they found. As Lars and Ellie grow up side by side their friendship grows stronger, and when they're old enough for patrols, it goes further than friendship... but sometimes things like this are hard to figure out, especially when you barely have experience. But when a girl named Ellie and her dad Joel (she assumed it was her dad, but later found out that it wasn't actually her dad), Lars immediately showed Ellie the county. 

Although the man, Joel, was very protective and followed the two around the whole entire day, not leaving Ellie's side. But as the days and weeks went on, Joel realized Ellie had made a friend. Lars and Ellie were close, doing almost everything together and it gave Joel a reason to smile, despite everything that was going on in his head. “Hi! My name is Lars.” She’d introduce herself, smiling very big, missing a baby tooth or two. “Lars is just my nickname, my real name is Larsa. Please, don’t call me Larsa!” Her eyes were wide. 

“I’m Ellie.” She would say, standing with her arms strictly at her side with her posture straight and chest out (like Joel had stood most of the time to push off the impression he was strong). 

Ellie felt a bit overwhelmed at Lars’ presence; She was very eccentric, the way she had worn mixed up clothes but somehow made it work, the way her hair was cut short and usually messy, but extremely stylish. Lars may have been awkward with things she would say, or how she stood, but she was always an extrovert, and that worked. But within the hour that they met, Ellie was extremely excited to have a new friend. 

For the few years they had become friends, their friendship blossomed into something special. It was like they had known each other since they were young, but in reality, it was just a couple of years. And now, they were finally old enough to go out on patrols together. When the days they weren't out on patrol or going on runs, they were either hanging out like teens normally do with others. But sometimes, almost every night, Lars and Ellie would stay up talking all through the night about anything and everything. They were always both curious, except Ellie was a bit more reserved with her feelings; that’s where her room really showed off who Ellie was. And Lars loved that. Posters, music, books and numerous drawings of Ellie’s and even sketchbooks lying around. And as for Lars, well, she was very energetic and always spoke about the movies she remembers and the movies she would see here in Jackson, Lars was curious about everything, and soon enough, she became curious about love. She saw in the movies all the time a man and woman falling in love, so she wondered if that would ever happen to her. 

Lars took the definition of love from the movies she saw and the books she read (the books were from Ellie’s room) and the more she focused on it, the more she applied it to herself and Ellie. And that had suddenly sparked an epiphany on her feelings towards Ellie. 

No matter how much Lars constantly spoke and hardly ran out of energy, Ellie liked it. And that’s where Ellie felt curious about feeling something for someone. 

Curiosity for them both, was more than just their realization of what they felt for one another. Obviously, they kept it to themselves. But the curiosity for liking each other had reached a small amount of physicality. Their hands would brush against each other whenever they were alone in Ellie’s room, or during a movie at the small theater in Jackson. (They were both completely oblivious to their feelings, but other people weren’t - they picked up on a special bond between them two. Especially Joel. Joel knew something was happening before they did. He knew, and he was happy for Ellie - happy for Lars. He could barely admit to himself, but he was excited to see it blossom). 

They were on patrol. Ellie was sitting in a chair with her gun by her side, watching the trees that moved in the distance as the leaves would fall off of the branches. Winter was about to arrive, and they felt it as the air got colder and crisper. Lars stood just a few inches away from Ellie, her back against the wooden wall of a small cabin like home. It was getting darker out, and soon they would leave so another pair could take over for the rest of the night. 

"Whatcha thinkin' about over there?" Lars asked, as she observed Ellie's face, the moonlight shining on her making her face glow. 

She shrugs in response and tilts her head to look at Lars. "I don't know."

"You don't know? Jesus, Ellie, your face is so scrunched up." She laughs, walking over to sit by her. "You alright?"

"I think so," ellie answers, "just your typical teenage stuff." 

"You know I understand all too well! I mean, just last week, Jesse was trying to go on a date with me. A date! Like seriously, where do you go on dates around here? The community's hall where you eat? And besides, Dina and Jesse are good together. I think. They do argue a lot, but then again it's not my problem. Also, Jesse is cute--adorable and all, but he's not my type. At all."

Lars looks over to Ellie, who wears a blank expression as she blinks at Lars. "What?"

"You really ramble a lot." Ellie smiles. 

"Oh sorry." 

"Lars, when do you ever have to be sorry to me?" She bumps her shoulder into hers. "You're being you, and that's great. You're great."

Lars starts to panic internally, as she takes in Ellie's compliments and her support of her awkwardness. "Oh Ellie, thank you." Her cheeks begin to heat up. 

"So, why don't you like Jesse? Besides Dina being in the picture."

"I said he's just not my type." Lars answers, looking away. She begins to think about Ellie, the friendship they shared all these years. How grateful she was to find someone like Ellie, the way she just came into Jackson and in her life out of the blue. The nights they spent together, whether it was up and out here on patrols, or inside her little home with Ellie's drawings and posters and books and sketchbooks everywhere. The way Ellie would look out for her and the way she would look out for Ellie. She felt almost too lucky... and suddenly, Lars is staring at her, without noticing that Ellie is paying attention. She looks at all her freckles that cover her face faintly but still noticeable. She likes her nose, the way it's small and just perfectly fits Ellie's face. The way her eyebrows pull in and her lips scrunching up to the side. Oh.. her lips. Her pouty, adorable lips. 

"Can I kiss you?" Lars blurts out, and immediately regrets it as she averts her gaze away from Ellie's and to outside. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking." 

"Lars." Ellie pulls her shoulder so that she could look at her. "Its okay, really."

"Yeah, good. Just forget it." She nods.

"No, really. It's okay." 

Lars is confused, but once Ellie pulls on her arm, she cups her hands on Lars' jaw on both sides and looks into her eyes. "It's alright."

"You don't have to do this for my sake, Ellie. Just forget it." She didn't want sympathy, not now and not ever. From no one, especially Ellie. 

Ellie chuckles, then pulls her face in and hovers her lips over Lars'. They face each other, lips centimeters away. Lars' breathing picks up as she panics, gulping away as she's so not ready for her first kiss. But then it happens. She feels the softness of her lips, but such a strong force it was. It was euphoric, Lars swore she was on fire by how heated she got, how the butterflies in her stomach were an infinite amount, just fluttering away with nowhere to go. 

It was sorta ironic, a bit funny too, that Ellie was the one to be so energetic with the kiss and not being shy about it. Whereas Lars was the shyest she had ever been. The kiss between the two friends had advanced from a peck, to a full on almost making out, lips fighting each other for dominance. Although Lars wanted to be the one to control it, Ellie wasn’t having it; the way she held Lars almost still as her lips molded onto hers, very rarely giving a bite or two, it had made both the girls let out their own type of moan; Lars’s surprisingly like a wince, and Ellie’s almost like a growl.

Once Ellie pulls away, they sit breathless, eyes still closed. . 

“I really want to say what's on my mind right now, but I am so scared.” Lars admits, keeping her eyes shut. 

“Hey there, don’t go shy on me now.” Ellie kept her hand on Lars’ cheek as she emphasized the ‘now’. “It’s okay, it’s just me, Lars.”

“Yeah I know,” she scoffs, “that’s what makes me scared.” 

Ellie leans in and kisses her jaw, then slowly up to the corners of her mouth and finally reaches her lips, tongue slightly running over her bottom lip. Lars shivers as the gesture. “Whatever you want to say, I guarantee you I won’t run.” 

Lars opens her eyes to see Ellie staring at her. She sighs and squeezes Ellie’s thigh. “I think I’ve loved you for some time.” 

“Loved?” Ellie teases. 

“Ellie…” She sighs as she blushes. “I do..I do love you.” 

“I love you too, Lars. Just like you, I think I always have.” 

They sit there during the remaining time on patrol, waiting for the others to come relieve them. Side by side, their thighs are squeezed against each other as they keep their hands on their weapons, to be responsible and ready for any clickers, stalkers or even people that come along. Ellie glances over at Lars a few times, just soaking the feeling of how she made her feel, in. This meant something more now, more than just a friendship. 

"By the way, what and who the hell is your type?" 

Lars shyly smiles, leaning into Ellie's tattooed arm, "You." 

“Was it like the movies?” 

“What are you talking about Ellie?”

“The kiss. This…” She intertwines her hand with Lars’ and squeezes it. “Was it like the movies you’ve seen.”

“No,” Lars tilts her head up on Ellie’s shoulder and stares. She can see Ellie’s eyebrows furrowed in, and her lips in a pout. “Because when I watched every movie with love or whatever, it just never had someone like you or me. So, I guess I’m trying to say it was better than the movies.” 

Lars tilts her head back and lets her lips kiss on the inside of Ellie’s neck, and that’s when she relaxes, finally content with something in her life. “This isn’t going to ruin anything right? Between us.” she asks as she cuddles further into her neck. 

“Nah,” she feels Ellie shake her head. “I think we’ll be alright. Yeah, we’ll be alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hear me out (whoever is reading this, future readers...) what if i turn this into a mini fic...  
> also, I maaaay or may not used the title from a harry styles lyric from fine line! go stream it *kiss*


	6. I Want You, If You'd Have Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel and Reader get close, and over time they finally admit to their feelings over coffee one night.   
> Just a drabble, so if it seems rushed or confusing, I just wrote what came out of my head! lol 
> 
> Joel x Reader  
> warnings - just fluff, slight (very little) eh no smut (mostly just kissing), no spoilers for game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joel x Reader  
> (seriously, reader friendly!)  
> (does not follow the game plot, just some fluffy joel that we all need!)

To say that Jackson was beautiful was an understatement. The view of the mountains and towering trees had left you breathless, considering the fact that you were born and raised in a busy-doesn't-sleep city. Although all these years you've seen nothing but the woods and broken down little cities, this view was different. Especially when you had good people around you to share it with. The town of Jackson had families; there were kids, teenagers and adults of all ages roaming about everyday, and living there in their own homes or newly built places. There were stores; like the people there were trying to build and get back to the world before this one. And although there was no getting away from reality and what went on behind the secured town. 

You worked in Jackson, on patrol on and off with different shifts. And when you weren't working, you spent time at your small home (whom you shared with your roommate, who happened to be your friend ever since you arrived in Jackson. Thankfully for them, they made you feel okay after spending so much time alone) writing stories, reading as many books you've found and even listening to music you never would've thought you would've liked before.

And there was someone in Jackson you paid attention to every time he walked by, every time he walked in a room and every other night he took over your patrol shift. 

That man was Joel. The quiet, closed off man who worked a lot, but also didn't converse or socialize with many people. He was tall, built almost but you could tell he was older. His hair fluffy and mixed with dull, dark brown hair and silver streaks throughout, including his beard. Joel always had such a strong face too, every time you had looked at him, his face never seemed to relax. And though the two of you would barely talk the numerous times you came in contact with each other, there was never any roughness or any type of bad that radiated off of him. He might've come off as brooding, but as the time went on, you found him to be the opposite. 

At first, he'd end your patrol shifts and take over without any greetings or goodbyes. But slowly, he was the one to say the first 'good evening' to you when seeing you at the end of the shift. You were the one to say hello the next time. And eventually, it led to long conversations that kept you on another shift where you were supposed to be off and sleeping or writing. One of those nights, Joel and you had shared each others thoughts about the beauty of Jackson, and how it was so different from the cities where you two were from. It was a friendship that blossomed between him and you, and it soon developed into a crush on both ends. But of course, neither of you shared that information...not yet anyways.

It kind of just happened. After Joel continuously apologizing from keeping you from sleep and working overtime on the shift, you told him you didn't mind and that you enjoy his company. He completely loved that and it would give him confidence with being near you (yeah, he would so get flustered by you, but you were oblivious to that). So that night, he asked you over for some coffee. 

"Would it be weird if I asked you to have coffee with me at my place?" He asked as you walked side by side, radiating heat off each other as your arm were against his arm.

"I don't know," you would shrug, a smirk lingering on your face. "Why don't you ask then." 

Joel laughed, a low groan passed his lips. "You're a smart ass." 

"Glad I can amuse you, I like hearing your laugh." You admit, turning your head to look at him as you kept walking through the town of Jackson, not really sure if you were heading to your home or his. "So, go on then. Let's find out if it's weird." 

"I just don't want things to be ruined in the long run." He'd look in your eyes, then turn his head down to look at his boots. 

"Coffee can't ruin things?" You bite your lip to hold in a laugh, to lighten the mood. It worked, because you hear him let a breathy laugh. 

"Is that a yes?"

"You, sir, didn't ask me." 

"Have coffee with me?" He asked. "Not sure if you need it, since you don't seem tired. But I definitely need it." 

You shook your head, and let him walk in front of you as you followed him behind. It was pitch black out, minus the small little lights throughout Jackson that was there to help guide people to places they wanted to go at night. There was no one outside. It must've been the middle of the night for sure. As you followed behind, you watched how he moved. Each step he took, he took with confidence and somehow like he was being protective, like something or anyone could jump in front of you guys and he'd be the one to protect you (that didn't mean you didn't know how to protect yourself, because you were tough as hell).

He led you up these wooden steps and stopped at his porch right at his front door. "It's not much, I don't decorate." 

"I don't either," you smile. "I'm actually quite unorganized, you should see it."

"Are you asking me out?"

"Oh I'm the smart ass..." you roll your eyes. "Come on, make me coffee."

"Well alright, I will." 

He tells you to make yourself comfortable, sit wherever, lounge wherever and he'll be back with coffee. You left your boots right next to his by the door on a rug, and your jacket stayed on since you still felt the cold on your skin. You smelled the coffee brew from the kitchen and you waited as your stomach growled. It was like he heard it from all the way in the kitchen, because he walks over to you, taking his jacket off and leaning on the couch arm. "Did you eat tonight? I have some things I make, there's some stuff in the cabinets too." 

"I know something good that goes with coffee." Joel smiles, and walks away. You smile to yourself as you watch him walk away, only to return in just under a few minutes with coffee. He sat extremely close to you, and it made you blush...which is an understatement because you were panicking. Although, all those nights spending overtime on patrol with him and standing or sitting close to each other, this was different. It felt different. You didn't have to worry about beyond Jackson. All you thought about in this moment was him, and how you'll be able to function sitting here, in his home and alone. 

The two of you sat on the same couch together, music being played quietly and the cups of hot coffee in your hands as a plate of walkers (a brand of shortbread tea cookies he had found one day) sat on the coffee table. As time went on, your jacket was off and the whole pot of coffee emptying which each cup you two had together, it felt good to spend the remaining of the night with someone. It had been so long for the both of you to find comfort in someone. Despite you having a roommate and a friend to be close with, this felt different. This felt like this could be something. But you didn't want to speak or act too soon on that, saving yourself from looking like a fool to mistake a friendship for something more. For the next few seconds, the two of you sat there in silence. His stare was intense, never budging or gazing away. The bags under his eyes make you feel like you should call it a night and have the two of you go your separate ways and catch up on sleep. But then, that's when you see it. The hidden smirk that lies behind his thick beard. 

You notice he puts down his empty coffee mug on the table in front of you two, without even looking away. And suddenly, you're inching further, your arms and hands reaching for him. They place onto his shoulders, hoping he understands what you're doing, and he does. But he doesn't show it, which leaves you worried. You need to leave, you need to get away and not make a fool out of yourself. But his lips...smirking and mocking you. You couldn't help it but just to lean in, close your eyes and lips end up on his just for moment. And that's when you feel just you making the effort to caress his lips with yours. He's tenses up and you pull your head back, eyes still closed. 

He whispers your name, and pull away as your hope fades away.

You blink a few times, realizing what you did and what he didn't do. "Sorry," you inched away on the couch, taking your hands off his shoulders. You turn away when he tries to talk to you, but you shake him off. He wasn't sure that you wanted that, but he did. He wanted to kiss you. But he had a feeling that you didn't like it. And so did you. "Sorry," you repeat. "Forget it, please." You can't take the shame. 

It wasn't until Joel stood up to clean up to break the awkward and silent tension. But you had interrupted him and insisted on cleaning up for him, because you couldn't just stand the weird silence after that failed attempt at kissing him. He just rolled his eyes and muttered to himself as he watched you make your way to his kitchen. He decided against sitting down again, and instead walked to the kitchen quietly, standing next to you as you finished placing the last mug onto a towel to dry. The two of you stood there, bodies just shyly a few inches away, that spaced filled with nervousness from the both of you.

"This is...different." Joel spoke up, his head faced down as his hands leaned faced down on the surface of the counter. Your hands did the same. 

"Again, Joel I'm sorry if I crossed any line." You sighed, turning around so that your back leaned on the edge of the counter. "And if this ruined things, don't blame the coffee, it was all me." 

"Hey now," Joel took one hand off the counter and put his arm around your waist, pulling you in and trapping you between him and the counter, bodies dangerously close. "It didn't do anything, you didn't ruin shit. There was no line...I froze up, that's on me."

It stood silence for a few minutes. You were afraid of saying anything, so you kept your mouth close. And you didn't want to leave either.

He whispered and muttered a few times your name, to get your attention. He lifted one hand to your cheek, and used his thumb to brush it gently across your chin and over your bottom lip. You shivered from the touch, heart thumping against your chest as your cheeks heated up from it. "Let's try that again," he whispered. "I won't freeze up this time."

"Joel..." you laughed. 

"Darling..."

"So I didn't mess this up? Whatever this has been." You say with a heavy emphasis on 'this'. 

"I'd say this was us being friends..." he nodded his head, leaning in and leaving a kiss on your cheek. "Then this...became just us dancing around the facts."

"And those facts are?"

"That you like me, you like hearing me laugh." He kisses your jaw now. 

"God, I feel like I'm in high school again." 

"Do you need me to tell you that I like you too? Or are we just gonna keep ignoring the obvious over and over?" 

You laugh, hitting him on the shoulder. "If you don't mind, yes..yes I do need you to tell me. I'm a nervous wreck, Joel. That's just who I am." 

He takes his hands off the counter, then places one hand on your waist and the other caressing your neck. Without confirming whether or not he actually does feel a way about you, he pulls you in very slowly, you breath slowly picking up as you anticipate his move. His lips gently rest on yours, hoping you'll make the next move. He hopes that this confirms his feelings enough for you, so that it give you the confidence to kiss back. And you do. Your hands fly up to the back of his neck, urging him to kiss you deeper. And that's where you feel it. Hell, that's where he feels it too. A weakness surges throughout your body, eyes fluttering shut and hands gripping each others bodies. And let's not forget about the noises - the breathy moans that slip from your mouth into his, and the groans that sound like he's wincing from pain from a wound, in yours. 

He pulls away, but your hand at his neck pulls him in one more time to gently kiss him, teeth biting down on his bottom lip, slowly pulling away. He lets out a deep chuckle, almost sensual sounding and rests his head onto your neck. 

"It's been so long...since I had someone. I've been so scared, Joel." You admit, and it wasn't easy. This was the first time you were saying it out loud. "The last person I loved, the person I was comfortable with, they're gone. And I don't want that to happen again. I just feel like I don't deserve this in a way." 

Joel's head moves off your shoulder, so he could listen to you attentively. He doesn't speak, giving you time to talk as he nods his head for you to continue. 

"I know that my partner died a long time ago, I know it wasn't my fault. But I am so scared to let something and someone like that slip right through my hands again." You say, your hands moving to his biceps and gripping tightly. "Joel, if this goes further...I won't know how to do this without feeling like I'm gonna lose it." 

"Hey there..." He grabs onto the back of your neck now, like you had done moments before. "It's been a very long time for me too. I know what it's like, I know how that fear feels, honey." 

He leaves a kiss on your forehead and looks you in the eyes. "We deserve this, everyone does." He nods his head, now pulling you into him even further and starts walking backwards, slowly and out of the kitchen. 

"Joel..."

"You said before you needed to hear it, so I'm saying it." He kisses your lips again. "I like you, very much. And if it feels like were kids again, then it must be a good feeling right?"

"Yeah," he smiles as you talk. "It's a very good feeling." 

"Let's hold onto that then, yeah?" He leans in, grabbing your face to kiss you, his tongue slowly gliding over your lips, asking for permission without words. And you accept it, as your mouth widens for him. 

And suddenly, Joel is sitting down on his couch again, this time with you in his lap. The small living room consists of the sound of the soft country music playing in the background and the sighs and moans from the two of you. You want to pull away, sadly, just for a moment to say something. And when you do, the words don't come out. Instead, he sits there with your legs around him as his hands rest just below your back. His eyebrows are pulled in and his head tilts as if he asked you a question. 

"Joel?"

"Mhm?"

"Let's hold onto this." You hope never to lose him, especially now that you two took your friendship further than just that. "I don't want this to ruin anything."

"It won't." Joel nods his head. "I told you before, there's no line." he refers back to when you apologized for crossing the line with your friendship. "I want you, if you'd have me." He says, but it's not sexual. Kind of. But he means more than just that. Joel wants you more than how it was before. He liked getting to know you, he liked that friendship and so did you. The feelings were mutual and finally being reciprocated. 

"Oh yes," you bite your lip as you smile. "I want this and you." 

"You deserve this." He whispers. And he brings you back into the passionate kiss again. And this time, no one breaks away to speak and only to shed of clothes. Joel's hands roam everywhere they could on your body, anything to make you feel loved and to feel something. Squeezing the back of your neck, hands sliding down your back softly only to grab your ass hard as he moans into your tongue-filled kiss and peppering and sucking of his neck. 

And it goes from the couch and into the bedroom of Joel, which you never thought you'd see. But you'll most likely urge on to tell him tomorrow morning to show you around and show more of him to you. And on his bed, the two of you rolling around on and off each other. Slow then fast. Fast then slow. Rough then soft, then on again. Everything feeling just right. And that moment, when you two are finally falling asleep after being up and the sun finally rising, he's holding you. And you're holding onto him. And suddenly, you whisper, "You deserve this too, Joel." And just when you thought he was sleeping, he slips his free hand into yours, over your stomach, and holds onto your hand, kissing your forehead.


End file.
